Day 1 : Welcome Back Class

Its -3, with wind chill making it more like -13.
Temperature,weather conditons rarely seem to affect them.
They gather like a flock of vultures ready to feed off scraps of the bewieldered and confused.
I watch them, forming into their little groups, clicks, gangs.
There seem to be very few loners out there.
The overal mentality it seems is to join one of these gangs.
It makes you feel safe, wanted, protected.
But this is not some prison in Texas.
This is parenting in my daugters Catholic School.

I wish I could honestly say that my experiences so far were isolated to this school alone,
however it seems that quite a few parents that ive discussed my experiences with, know it all too well.
So far my interaction with these gangs have been minimal, for one im a Dad, and it seems that apart from a few Dads most are scarce here.Those that do seem to hang around act more like bewieldered guard dogs.
Secondly my daughter is only in Pre School, and im sure the influences of thes "Gangs" will take affect more as she grows up and starts to want to take part in things.
However I do pay close attention to the goings on around me, i listen , i observe and i will report.

Mom Gangs, the formation of groups of mostly female parents who secretly run your childs school.
The PTA it seems has moved away from being  a concerned group of parents wishing to monitor the schools progress as a whole, into an elitist organization which can make anyones life a misery.
Pupil, Parent, Teacher no one is safe.

My very first interation with these people came on parents evening before the school term started in September.
I had never been to a Catholic school before and honestly found the whole thing quite amusing.
My Wife and I entered our daughters soon to be Pre School Classroom,
there were already groups formed.
They would look you up and down, feeling you out with a stare.
Huddled around Pre school tables like Giants at a dwarf conference.
Some dressed overly casual, some dressed as if they were going to a club.
Over done eye liner, and wafting stench of Armani perfume.
The Pre School teacher introduced herself and then gave a very minimal rundown of what the children would be doing that year.
Then the pastor fellow came in and spent more time talking about religon and the family.
My wife elbowed me several times during this speech.
The teacher then opened up the forum to the parents, and i waited for what i thought would be typical parent worries /concerns.
"How much time do you spend doing individual reading with the children?"
"Will they start to learn basic Math?"
"Will they practice Handwriting skills?"

However not one of these questions came up.
I was instead subjected to the following babble.
"What do we bring in for Birthday Parties?"
"Who gets picked to help out at Easter Party?"
"Can I sign up to be a  Xmas Party Helper now?"
It felt like all the intelligence was slowly being sucked out from the room.
There were even more dumber questions asked, however they were so dumb my brain failed to retain them as a piece of knowledge and they were discarded from thought  like an episode of two and a half men.
I then muttered under my breath to my wife
" I hope their kids are not as retarded as they are, or Lilys in big trouble."
I knew then, school was going to be an experience not just for my daughter but for me too.